Yesterday, Roger Federer, the #1 ranked tennis player in the world with the gorgeous swing (and even more gorgeous hair) defeated Andy Murray in Gentlemen’s Singles at Wimbledon. As I was watching these two superb players in action, I was thinking about my emails to a select few who know how to lob those emails over the net. (I was watching tennis and thinking about emails? Yes.)
I adore playing with and writing to people who are smart, clever, and witty. I relish when they shoot me a word and I need to look up its definition. I love getting out-witted and out-smarted. It makes me work harder. And when I blow it, that’s okay too. I can handle losing but I can’t handle not trying.
Some people are so afraid of losing that they deliberately avoid situations where there’s a chance they won’t be victorious. Whether it’s sports, brilliant children or personal style, they keep their circle small to ensure they will dominate. That’s a shame because you will only get better when you’re up against someone with a better swing.
Segue to a story:
I love talking about the writers who work for the New York Times and cover a specific beat. Alessandra Stanley covers television; John Harwood covers congressional politics; Peter Baker covers the president; and so on. Recently, I was out to dinner with an acquaintance and we started talking about the Times. I mentioned the writers I admired and within minutes, the guy got up and left the restaurant (and stuck me with the check). He felt bested and defensive. Unlike Andy Murray who was gracious about his Wimbledon loss, my dinner partner was humiliated he was unable to remember the reporters’ names.
Had the situation been reversed, I would have been impressed by his memory. I would have taken pleasure in his passion for superb writing. I would have expressed my admiration for his attention to detail.
Whenever there’s an opportunity to hit the ball against someone who is your equal or even your superior, go for it. And if you lose the match and decide to leave the court, at least hand the maitre d’ some money to cover your half of the meal.
Wow, that’s some story!
In a way I feel sorry for this guy – what could be more fun than a session of mental sparring with you over a nice meal.
Dear Andrea: I feel sorry for him, too. I also feel sorry for me — he had three drinks while I sipped water. I still marvel at his insecurity. WOW! Now you know why the shrinks are always booked up. Great to hear from you, as always. E.
Oops! That guy’s gonna get the burns when he reads this!
Sucking up knowledge is so delightful.
Thankks. And you’re looking fab these days. Envy for you and the photographer
- Sreemanti
Dear Ideator: That guy was jettisoned from my life that night. You can’t pick your relatives but you can definitely toss your frenemies. Thanks too for the lovely compliments on the photographs. Let it be said that at 59 you can still toss caution to the wind. Youse it!
you do better than caution. be sure.
Oh, the poor soul. He needs to start reading the Style section for some tips on how to behave in public.
As print news disappears at an alarming rate, I pray that the NYT will remain strong. The best writers provide superlative news and opinion which is enhanced by the smell and smudges of newsprint. And let’s not forget the best crossword puzzle out there.
Hmmm…should we screen future friend candidates???
Dear Anne: I’m afraid he’s off the grid. Style won’t help the hapless. Let’s screen otherwise we’ll be depleted by this outrageous behavior. Thanks for weighing in. E.
I watched the match and was deeply moved by the dignity of both players, such exceptional people on so many counts…that’s what I love about tennis — the match can really show who people are on the inside — ehem, as did your frenemy — thank you for the reminder of those who just don’t belong on my grid…I need to be more decisive. God bless.