Does this sound familiar?
You bump into a friend, ask her how she’s doing and she says…”I’m so busy.”
Now she’s going to riffle through her calendar and bring you up to date on everything lest you miss the point she’s a whirling dervish of excitement galore.
(Feign interest while counting the white shirts in the closet.)
Now you know this conversation is going nowheresville. What are we, in nursery school? Are we going to say “Well, I’m busy too.”
I don’t care if you’re employed, under-employed, unemployed, a newly-minted graduate, a stay-at-home Mother, cashing in your Facebook stock, writing spreadsheets, one-act plays and thinly-veiled novels, using your frequent flyer miles, doing a cleanse, rearranging the food in the refrigerator, racing an MG, and/or repainting your front door, WE ARE NOT THAT BUSY.
And when you tell us how busy you are, you are blowing up a bridge to a relationship. I love when people are fully-engaged and firing on all neurons. Why would I write The Essentials of Fabulous if I didn’t want to see people succeed? But true success needs a sturdy foundation based upon mutual caring and uplifting relationships. We need to build those bridges, not burn them.
As a personal and business coach, I’ve had the good fortune to work with talented individuals who for one reason or another, find themselves stuck. Or downsized. Or marginalized. And so they need to reclaim the fire that has been damped by bad luck. When we begin our work, I’m curious about the bridges they’ve built over the years. Many of these people have few or even none.
The work begins. We rebuild the foundation that will support the cables. I urge them to go back to the people they once knew and ask for help. Their self-confidence re-emerges. They start to feel good about themselves. And eventually, they are ready to step across the bridge and get to the other side.
If they’re lucky, really lucky, there will be friends and colleagues, co-workers and neighbors waiting for them, ready to roll up their sleeves and move those boulders blocking the way. Are these wonderful people busy? Of course. But when you ask them for help, miraculously, they are not that busy.
That’s why they’re fabulous.